The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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