I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
