I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
