Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
