so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
