Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
