As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
