i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
