I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Found the puke drawer
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
