should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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