We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
