cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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