so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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