My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
