return my video game
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
