I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize