I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize