So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
