And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
