return my video game
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
