at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize