we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
