Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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