i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
