I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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