u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
