if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
