have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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