My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
