he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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