Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
