i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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