I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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