so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
