Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
