This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
