Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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