As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
