i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
