people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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