I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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