My brain says no but my pants say off.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
