It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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