dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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