just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Randomize
