you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
