we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
