I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
