hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She's the barista slut.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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