plz talk dirty to me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
