how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
