Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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