I seem to have left my pride at pride
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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