What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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