is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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