went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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