she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize