Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
