My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
