in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize