i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
