Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize