: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
