I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
