ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize