i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
