You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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